Felicity,
wellll.. It's true.. I wouldn't have gone if Shann didn't go..You know how after a long time of trying to be goodfriends with someone.. and everytime.. somethinghappens.. you just get sooo fed up that you just dont'want to deal with it anymore? If you really want toknow the truth.. that's where I am.. Your a niceperson and all.. but I don't think we're compatible asfriends all the time.. Everytime I turn around.. I have to watch what I saybecause I might hurt your feelings.. I can't just saywhat I feel.. With Shannon.. she understands how Iam.. she knows.. that's just the way it is.. and youhave to look past my words and kind of know what I'mmeaning.. You take everything I say the wrong way..Everytime I tell you something about my feelings of acertain situation.. I say it in certain words.. Isugar coat it.. I say it while reiterating all thefacts of your still my friend your still a goodperson.. yada yada yada.. and I mean it.. but youstill think I"m mad or mean or whatever.. I'm tired ofsugarcoating EVERYTHING I say.. So.. I just stoppedtalking all together.. I find out every now and thenthat certain things you've told me.. you've said theexact opposite to other people.. or that when youdon't want to do something.. YOu'll tell me you reallywant to do it.. but then you'll make up an excuse atthe last minute saying you can't go.. just because youdon't really want to go and you can't tell me to myface that you just don't want to go.. and there'sother things that I just forgot about and I just don'tcare anymore.. Anything I hear anymore just doesn'tphase me at all.. I used to give a damn.. "What?! Shedoesnt' want to work after I got her the jobs... "That was the last situation I cared about.. Everythingafter that.. I would find out something.. say.. "Oh"and go on.. because I just don't care.. point blank...With the fact that I dont hang out with you anymore..Reason: You don't like to do anything.. movies getboring after awhile.. and you fall asleep anyway.. youdon't like to bowl.. you never have money to doanything.. which I dont' care.. but it just means youcan't go.. and that's why we just dont' ask anymore..or.. your always at Jim's.. or you have to go toJim's.. or your allergic to Shann's house.. orsomething.. anything.. it's not your fault that yourallergic to Shann's.. but do you ever ask us overanymore? nooo.. Your parents just don't like me.. point blank.. Me andShann saw your mom at the gas station.. we were like.hey.. she was like.. oh hey.. what are you doing? justgoing to the library.. really.. yea.. and she turnsaround.. doesn't really say anything.. we were like..ok.. bye.. she's like.. bye.. very very impersonable..which doesn't really matter.. just adds to it thatyour parents don't really like me.. I dunno aboutShann.. Let's see.. oh yea.. you said you felt like I calledout of obligation yesterday.. I did.. I felt bad thatI didnt' talk to you anymore.. and I called.. tryingto find something to talk about.. was there anythingto talk about? no.. Basically.. you have changed soooo much from lastyear.. Last year in CHem.. you used to be soo.. "Idon't care what anybody thinks about me.. I am soospontaneous.. Let's go have fun tonight and dosomething wild.. " Now.. "I have to go to Jim's .. Ican't really hang tonight.. I'm just going to go tobed.. I don't feel good.. I don't really want to dowhat you guys want to do.. "That's what shannon and I's relationship is allabout.. compromising.. we have so many similaritiesand so many differences.. she enjoys certain things..and I enjoy certain other things.. If she wants to goto the fatted calf and I don't.. and I want to go tothe bankshot.. and she doesnt'.. we compromise and goboth places.. that's what friendship is all about..and we talk until dawn sometimes.. and we make it apoint to see each other.. or call each other.. or talka lot.. anyways... this is prolly going to hurt yourfeelings.. if it does.. sorry.. but I'm notsugarcoating my feelings for you anymore.. you caneither take my opinions the way they are.. or youdon't have to take them at all.. I honestly wish our friendship was back the way itwas... a freaken year ago.. but it has changedtremendously over the last.. oh.. 9 or 10 months..Maybe we will bond over the beach.. but we have tostart over.. you have to get to know me again. .and Ihave to get to know the new you.. because I know theold you.. and I kept knowing the old you while youwere changing.. then I missed the old you.. and I justkept missing the old you I guess.. because honestly..we don't know each other at all.. so.. if you want tostart over.. just say the words..
miss